DRaGoN PenWhistle XLVII:
The Dark Winesman

By Geigerwall Duneski



Chapter One
The Flaming Demon Horses of Bedrot

“French kiss me now!” cried Shebawitz the elfstresss. She and her boyfriend Gargamorph the Robot King from the future felt each other up for a really long time after their intense battle with the Vulcanoids in the tower of Epstein.
“Zounds, what betrough is this scandal?” asked Viggomort the ranger. He looked upon his companions with envy, jealous of their French kissing, “The red skies of Zandu are closing! Quickly, through the portal!”
And so the three kinsmen jumped through the portal. Jubeinawa the thief whistled for Alucard, his stallion. He jumped on his back and rode him through the portal and back to Isenthorpe.

Chapter Two
The Devil Dogs of Percy the Ungrateful

And so the heroes ventured forth to the land of Sieguard, where they met the beautiful enchantress Sheniqua the Devastating..
“Do not become entranced by her beauty!” cried Shebawitz.
“I am entranced by her beauty!” exclaimed the Robot King from the future.
“You are entranced by my beauty!” commanded Sheniqua the Devastating.
“EEEEEERRRRRRGH! My magic… it is failing me…” Viggomort gasped.
“Magic is for a dwarf!” said Ralfenader the dwarf. He cleaved through Sheniqua the Devastating with his axe of fortitude.
“Or more like magic is for Banthuzarian Glute Elves!” Shebawitz remarked. Everyone laughed.

Chapter Three
The Guardian of the Slate

And so, Ralfenader, Shebawitz, the Robot King from the future and Viggomort all traveled to Gengarpikachu at the summit of Mount Hoshin. There they found the temple of the sage of water, who was feared by all.
“Tread lightly, Viggomort,” the Robot King from the future whispered, “The Sage of Water approaches.”
“I will need the axe of pyre and might to defeat this foe!” declared Ralfenader. He set off into the woods of Kecklamaria and went on a mystical journey.

Chapter Four
“I Shall Cast Thee, Foul Demon Into A Burning Abyss of Hell’s Fury; and You Shall Repent for Thy Sins Whilst You are Devoured by Hellhounds with a Flaming Maw!”

“Who are you?” demanded the cashier of the Gyglantic Dirt Road.
“I am Ralfenader the Dwarf, and I shall cast mine enemies into a burning abyss of rage with my Long Sword of Pity!” said Ralfenader the Dwarf.
“Ok,” the cashier replied.

Chapter Five
The Wolves of the Portal of Narginia

“Did you find the Gongs of Wrath?” asked Viggomort to his companion Ralfenader.
“There were many obstacles that obstructed my path to righteousness,” replied Ralfnader.
Suddenly, a mystical worm burrowed from beneath the ground and attacked the party.
“Amazing. Who are you?” asked the Robot King from the future.
“It is the Gland King of Nubeinaw!” exclaimed Shebawitz.
“I am the Gland King of Nubeinaw!” exclaimed the Gland King of Nubeinaw.


Chapter Six
The Healing Waters of Gregormendeli

“Wow! That was an intense battle!” exclaimed the Robot King from the future.
“Yes! French kiss me now!” Shebawitz exclaimed even more. They French kissed.
“Dwarves do not appreciate such customs…” Ralfenader glared.
“Magic is for dwarves!” Viggomort retorted.


Chapter Seven
The Regeneration of Brienoconan

“Oh no! The sage of water is approaching! Everyone hide!” exclaimed the Robot King from the future.
“I was once a man,” the sage of water said.
“Amazing….. Who are you?” asked Viggomort.
“I am the Sage of Water,” said the Sage of Water.
“Ok,” Viggomort replied.

Chapter Eight
The Hatred of Thorfendal the Man Slayer

“My magic is not strong enough!” exclaimed Shebawitz.
“You must try! Try to believe in yourself! Like you once believed in me!” called out the ghost of the Robot King from the future. Shebawitz smote the Dr. Sulfur and the Barnacloids with a magic missile.
“Well, I guess all’s well that ends well!” Ralfenader declared.
“End’s well is for a dwarf!” Viggomort retorted.



THE END